Recently Divorce? 5 Tips on How to Deal with the Holidays!
November 10, 2012
To help with the many changes that have taken place including the family dynamics and traditions, here are five tips on how to deal with the holidays after your divorce.
1) Is your mind working overtime?
The holiday season and being recently divorced is a difficult combination. Is your mind working overtime with the “what ifs” and “if only” as well as negative thoughts? How can you help yourself? First, be aware of your negative thoughts and how they are controlling your life and making the situation worse. We have all heard the expression… What you think about, you bring about!
To help fight off your negative thoughts, think of good (positive) thoughts. ( I know this may seem impossible to do at this time, but you have to start somewhere.) Thinking good thoughts will attract more good thoughts and you will eventually have less and less negative thoughts to interfere with your life. Other suggestions: focus on your contributions to the happiness of others; give a smile to a person in need; send a thank you note or an e-mail to a friend or family member for their support and all you are grateful for. The one that works for me every time… hug your children.
2) Don’t isolate yourself
Especially during the holidays, surround yourself with supportive friends and family. Plan a potluck gathering in your home and have each person bring a new friend to share the holiday spirit. Start new traditions.
3) You are good enough
After divorce, many women have the attitude that “I’m not good enough” and this feeling seems to skyrocket even more during the holidays. Be gentle with yourself! You are unique and already magnificent. To see how magnificent you are, make a list of at least ten things that you love about yourself. Keep the list with you at all times as a friendly reminder just in case your thoughts and feelings of not being good enough try to takeover again.
4) Get rid of the bitterness
Bitterness can rob you of any happiness and the ability to move your life forward after divorce. Turn your energy towards your goals and dreams. I suggest building a “dream” collage. Include your children and make this a family project to help everyone focus on their dreams. To get started, get some magazines, a pair of scissors, and a glue stick. Go for it! Have some fun!
5) Trust your gut
Feeling emotionally distraught during the holidays also makes it very difficult to make decisions. Learn to let go and be still. How DO you learn to be still? Start by using all your senses and focus on this very moment. For example, what do you hear, see, smell and feel? Write it down. If your thoughts start to wander, that’s okay, just start again. I promise it will get easier with practice. As I tell all my clients, be kind, gentle and patient with yourself. Honor your sense of right and wrong and believe in who you have become.
Written by Joanie Winberg
Joanie is the CEO/Founder of the National Association of Divorce for Women and Children-
www.FreshStartAfterDivorce.com, a Divorce Mentor, Certified Human Behavior Consultant and the Founder/Co-host of the Single Again! Now What? Radio Talk Show (Divorce Source Radio Network).
Just for you! Start fresh for the New Year!
Learn more about the Single Again! Now What? Mentoring Program- www.SingleAgain-NowWhat.com