Divorce can be one of the most stressful times for a family.  My parents divorced when I was 4 and my mom divorced again when I was 18.  Here are some tips for parents who are going through the shared custody nightmare..which does not have to be if you are both on the same page!

1.  Get Doubles of Everything

I know that this seems expensive, but really it makes everything so much easier when you get doubles of everything. Here are the essentials that people do not usually think about. I always had a big bag that I took with me and it was stressful to have to ‘pack' every week.

-Cell Phone Charger
-Computer Charger/iPod charger
-Underwear, socks, boxers, bras
-Jeans
-A few nice shoes/a nice outfit (just in case you have an event at either house)
-Running Shoes
-Two sets of textbooks
-School supplies (full desk set-up at each house makes it easy to do homework in both locations)
-toothbrush, toostpaste, shampoo, razors, facewash, soap, lotion, etc (no need to lug these back and forth)

2. Use the Same Interface and Get Help

I love Custody xChange, it takes away a lot of the fighting and miscommunications that can happen.

1.  Your ideal custody and visitation schedule
2.  Your summer vacation time
3.  Your hoilday schedule and special events and you can then print the calendar and give it to the other parent (or send it over email) so you're both always on the same page.

You can also include parenting provisions (stipulations) in the custody agreement. You then print the legal text and bring it to court or mediation, or simply have your ex (or the other party) agree to it. Finally, you're given an accurate calculation for timeshare & overnight percentages. These percentages are a primary consideration in calculating child support in almost every place in the world; and you (or your client) could save thousands by simply using the correct calculations.

3. Read and Know You Are Not Alone

Best Resources for Divorced and Separated Families I put together a comprehensive resource guide for all parents who are going through, have gone through or experienced divorce.  My teens and I reviewed books, websites, podcasts and blogs for you.

4. Give Your Kids a System

One of the hardest parts when my parents first got divorced was them figuring out how they were going to communicate and how I was.  It took a while to develop the system, where I loaded my bag in my dads car at my dads for him to drop off on his way home at my moms so I wouldn't have to take it to school, I needed to text message my mom that it was coming…it became very intricate.  This was OK, but I wish we had set something up from the get go.  Sit down with your child and both parents and figure out how everyone will communicate in every situation and put it in writing on the fridge!

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