When I was five years old my stepfather began to sexually molest me. It continued until I was seventeen. Much of the abuse took place at nights while my mother was at work and my sisters were asleep upstairs. My bedroom was in the basement. He told me not to tell because it was “our secret” and I was his special girl. Sometimes he would force me to drink beer to ease the pain. As I got a little older he abused me in other ways. He said that if I ever told on him, nobody would believe me anyway. And, that I would be punished for telling lies. But if they did believe me and my parents divorced, it would be my fault. And where would my mother and three sisters live? Everyone would laugh at me if they knew what I was doing. I felt so embarrassed and dirty. I was forced to keep quiet. He was a master at manipulation. He had total control of me.

After graduation I moved out. In my late twenties I confided in my aunt, one of my mother's sister. After hearing my story she asked me to keep quiet about it. She was afraid of reprisals from within our large Italian family, so I promised. But word got out. And so I called my stepfather to confront him. I asked him why he did that to me. His answer was simple: because I was such a happy, cute kid and not his biological child. Then I told my mother the whole story. She didn't believe me.

Nine years ago, the aunt I confided in passed away from breast cancer. But before she died she told me a startling story. All those years growing up, my mother knew of the abuse and did nothing to protect me. My mother would cry to her girlfriend next door about what her husband was doing to me. Years later, those neighbors bumped into my aunt and uncle at the hospital and told them what my mother had done. Or not done. After we buried my aunt I was unofficially ostracized from my family. I was completely cut off from everyone. Even to this day.

After the passing of my aunt, I became angry and strong and motivated to do something about the abuse. I would tell everyone my story. I did my part to help with extending the Statute of Limitations for reporting sexual abuse. Starting up Little Voices Matter Inc. is a dream of mine and I know many will benefit from this organization.

As a survivor of abuse I can't express enough to others that have been in my shoes to know the following:

• It's NOT your fault.
• You CAN talk about the abuse and you should.
• You are NOT alone. The abuse happens to more than we will ever know.
• Don't feel embarrassed.
• Family, friends and all others NEVER ask “Why didn't you say anything”?
• Family especially Moms and Dads believe in your child and help them not the one that is hurting them. You can survive without them.

Bio
Kathy Picard is an award winning child safety advocate and founder of the non-profit organization, Little Voices Matter, Inc. The foundation's mission is to raise everyone's awareness including children, parents, teachers, child service providers and communities in all areas of child safety. 

Kathy is a member of the RAINN (Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network) Speakers Bureau and a recipient of the 2006 Unsung Heroine award of the Massachusetts Commission on the Status of Women who received a Governor's Citation from Governor Deval Patrick in 2008.

She has partnered with the Clowning For Kidz Foundation to positively impact childhood safety through community safety events and she is a Certified Train the Trainer instructor in the use of Talking About Touching: A Personal Safety Curriculum taught by the Committee for Children in Seattle, WA.

Contact Information
Website: www.littlevoicesmatter.org
E-Mail:   mystic4@verizon.net
Phone:     413-575-4674